When did these become my boys? When did the little chubby baby fat disappear? When did Mason become a big brother and Miles…Miles…when did he become so big?!
I know they’re still little. Still little enough to cuddle with me and let me hold their hand, but I see it slipping away. It isn’t as often and it isn’t every day. They’re just changing, as they should be, but boy is it hard sometimes.
I almost feel like I’m standing still. It’s like I’m not moving anymore. I know that I am, that I’m changing and growing older too. I just have to glance at my reflection to see my gray hair and the wrinkles on my face getting ever so slightly deeper. But, it’s like I’m standing still and they’re circling around me. Changing so much faster than I am.
I love where we are now. That both boys are able to be on their own a bit, do things for themselves but I selfishly want them to stay little so that they keep holding my hand and let me kiss them when I want to. I dread the day that I pucker my lips and push my face toward one of them and they turn their head in denial of my kiss. Gosh I hope that doesn’t happen for a while.
My boys. Beautiful, challenging, funny, annoying at times, smart, creative, wonderful…wow.