Nope, this isn’t a post about taking a photograph and hearing the sound of the shutter release. It’s about being at that almost golden age of 40 and finally understanding something…for the first time.
Being raised Catholic and being some form of a Christian all of my life, the idea of the Holy Trinity isn’t a foreign subject. It’s something that I’ve been aware of and even talked about for years. In fact, when I had a design business years ago when I lived in Mill Valley, the business name was Trinity Design. Funny to think back on that now but that’s the truth. I wasn’t even a practicing anything at that time. I can remember wondering why I named it that at one point but didn’t question it too deeply enough to change it. The business dissolved before I had to answer.
Now, a chunk of years later, I finally understand who/what the Holy Spirit is. At least I understand in a way that makes sense to me and that I can explain. My understanding stems from two direct lines of communication. One from a book called “The Shack” by Jim Palmer. A client turned friend had recommended it to me not too long ago saying it was the best book she had read and immediately went out and bought three copies to give to people. With a recommendation like that I had to check it out. The book is mainly about one mans experience with God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. I won’t ruin the story for you if you happen to pick it up.
The second way was from church this past Sunday. Jeff Mazzariello, who is the Pastor of Spiritual Formation, had this great way of explaining the Holy Spirit. I’m convinced that because I had been reading “The Shack”, I heard the information differently than I might have otherwise. He explained how God had created Jesus to be in our form. To be one of us so that we could experience Him and He could experience us and so that He could give himself to us in a way that wasn’t possible before. That through His death, and ONLY through His death, could he touch all of our lives by releasing The Holy Spirit to live inside of each of us. That had Christ not died, he would have to be everywhere, meeting everyone, touching everyone so that we could personally experience Him. His death allowed His Sprit to travel everywhere at once and be within each of us simultaneously.
It’s funny, now that I “get it” or hope I do, I wonder why I didn’t understand this for so long. What was so difficult about that to understand? But I truly think I just needed to hear it in a different way. One that made sense to me. Now. This past Sunday.
The other thing he talked about that struck a chord was that we were each bestowed gifts from God. Gifts that our bodies allow us to share with the world. He challenged us to think about what our gifts our. To notice those things that we love to do, that we’re great at doing, that come naturally to us. To embrace them and to allow the Holy Spirit to work within us and to share them with the world. That by not sharing them, we are stopping ourselves and others from moving forward. He shared that often people don’t think that their gift is good enough or special enough. It’s just something that they happen to be good at. I find myself right there, thinking that my gifts are mundane or not “special” enough. I find myself wishing that I could contribute something AMAZING to the people around me but what I have to contribute is unique to me. It’s my vision and my ability to capture moments and peoples unique spirit on paper. To weave those words or symbols or images together for others to experience.
I love these gifts and I love sharing them and am pushing myself to be larger than I’ve been being. It can be a bit scary, especially in todays economic state but moving forward feels like the right direction to be moving.