I’m excited about the possibility of growth this year. Both personally and professionally. I know that with everything going on I don’t have to worry about growing personally. Being faced with the challenges of motherhood and now caregiving is enough to spark anyone to shed some old skin and look at who and how they’re being in the world. The idea of growing professionally is another story.
There is such a desire and need for my business to expand but it’s saddled right along side fear. A big huge chunk of fear. I’ve always said that there is a fine line between excitement and fear and you just have to know how to tip the scale towards excitement but I’m finding it hard to do. Difficult because I don’t honestly know if I’ll be able to manage the growth that I’m asking for. How do you balance being a mother, wife, daughter, caregiver and business woman. All run from the inside of my home. There are days that I can’t work. There is no time between being with the boys and with my mom. Driving to and from appointments, fixing meals, doing laundry. I laugh that about the only time I have to do any work is updating my Facebook and Twitter pages which is sad to even admit.
I had committed to working nights, mornings, whatever extra time I could find but that is proving to be difficult. Somehow, I’m managing my clients and staying within the deadlines I’ve set for myself which is shocking even for me to realize. But, I want more. I need more. Financially I need more but aside from that, I’m curious about being more, about my business growing larger. The part that I hate to admit is that I’ve thought about that for a very long time. So long that I wonder if it’s just a thought that will never be realized or if, perhaps I will step past those fears that keep me from multiplying and just go for it.
I did take a step today. I spoke with a PR company about helping me to market my business. I’m excited about the possibilities that lie ahead and I share this with the greater internet community to help speak what I say into being. To help hold me accountable, to let people know that I’m serious about my life and about my business. That I want more and am going after it.
What will the future hold? I have no idea but I’m ready to find out.